It’s only February and some of our resolutions have already crumbled and we’re back to our old habits and routines that have kept us exactly where we are. But we don’t have to wait ’till next year to try again or to set goals that will get us back on track, that will keep us on the path to becoming the best version of ourselves. We just need to formulate a plan and begin the journey right now!
Our habits are perfectly formed to get the results they’re getting. I say this often in the studio rooms of Melt because it’s one of the most powerful and accurate things I’ve ever heard. It came from my banking career and it has stuck with me. It truly applies to every aspect of life. We all have desires and dreams. We can easily ramble off a long list of things we think we need to have to be happy… Losing 15 pounds, sculpting lean, visible muscles, paying off our debt, buying a bigger home or a vacation home, having more meaningful relationships, better skin, better sex, whatever it is, none of it is possible without first formulating a plan. We can’t just want these things, throw a dart in the dark and hope it hits the bulls eye. We need a plan. For each desire, for each dream we have, we need to map out the steps that we need to take to get there. If it’s weight-loss, what does our daily fuel need to look like and have we put the proper steps in place to make that happen? If we’re going to prepare more of our meals from home, did we set aside a day each week to plan our meals and shop for what we need? If it’s paying off our debt, did we establish a budget and are we sticking to it?
Research states that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Okay, so 3 weeks. That’s no time at all when we think about changing those behaviors that are going to lead to true happiness, yet we often can’t seem to get past the first week.
Forming a habit means changing existing behaviors, and change is just really uncomfortable. We tend to do what we do because it’s easy, it’s the path of least resistance and it works for us. Stepping out of that ease, takes effort and here’s where the cycle begins. We want something, we want to fulfill that dream or desire, but we don’t want to change the behaviors that are keeping us stuck or we don’t want to formulate new behaviors that will get us unstuck, so we just stay in this land of mediocrity and unhappiness, we just stay STUCK!
This happens because as humans , we have an innate protective mechanism to be comfortable. To settle into a place where everything is rainbows and unicorns. Unfortunately, nothing new happens in that space. It’s a nice easy place to visit, but it’s stagnant… Zero growth happens in comfort land.
Then, the whole thing gets even more complicated because as humans, we have this strong desire to tell other humans about our desires and dreams and what our plan is to get there. This can make the other person feel some kind of way. Maybe they have the same desire or dream but they are afraid of the work involved to accomplish the goal and witnessing someone else achieve something they want makes them feel uncomfortable and envious. So instead, they discourage the behavior because discouraging the behaviors that are going to lead to achievement of the goal eliminates their fear that you’re going to be successful in achieving something they know they can’t.
Here’s the only way to find success: put on the blinders! The people we love can be our biggest supporters but they can also be our biggest detriment. Once you determine the desire or dream you want to fulfill and you formulate your plan for achieving it, you gotta put the blinders on and just plow forward.
Limit what you tell others, unless of course, you have someone willing to take the same journey with you and you can truly support one another and lift one another up. Otherwise, stick to your plan. Keep moving forward. If you don’t reach your goal after your allotted timeline, and by following the set plan, then change the plan, not the goal. Stay committed. Remember, you determined that this is what you want. That this will bring you happiness. Now, go do it and don’t stop until you get there!